A lesson learnt through a broken lady

I will never repeat this mistake ever again

I was going to the market with a friend yesterday.

Because we have been given school projects since our exams are near and we needed some stuff for it.

We hadn't entered the market yet, we were walking down a path that led to that place.

It was a narrow, irregular earthen path with 1 to 2 story apartments connected on one side and an area of land on the other. That area of land was levelled lower than the path with water, tall wild grass and… Trash. 

A lot of trash. Wow Humans, you're doing a great job.

I love walking at places like these. Mostly alone, but I don't mind some company sometimes.

My friend was annoying me and in turn I was projecting physical pain at him to state it clearly that he needs to chill. But of course that guy doesn't listen and just laughs it out.

The whole area was very peaceful and quiet because we were the only ones there.

But then I noticed that a woman in a yellow nightgown was sitting at the front gate of one of the apartments.

She looked like she was maybe 40 or 45, and was sitting on the ground with her legs partially folded in front of her and her head laid on the cold concrete wall. Her hand supported her head while she made some noises that at first, silly me couldn't recognise as cries.

She looked… defeated and broken now that I reimagine her.

But my stupid self didn't realise at the time.

I saw her from my peripheral vision so at the moment I didn't see her facial expressions clearly.

My stupid ass thought that she was sitting there to get some sunlight 😐.

And the noise she was making, I thought she was humming a song.

Until my friend said, “Don't make me laugh so hard while that lady is sitting there crying for I don't know what reason. It makes me feel bad”

“Wait, she was crying?!?” I asked while a surge of emotions were flowing through my brain.

I’m. An. Empath.

And even though I have nothing to do with whatever that woman was going through, I was feeling guilty that I just walked right past her without even laying my eyes on her.

The first thought that came to my mind was what might have happened to her.

The way she was sat and crying, I don't think she was crying because of any physical pain, like she didn't fall from the stairs or anything.

It felt like emotional pain.

Maybe she was kicked out of her house by… I don't know her husband?

Maybe she was abandoned by her children?

All I knew was that walls were closing in on her, she was broken and she was suffocating.

All she could do was sit there in front of the gate and mourn for whatever life was throwing at her, all alone.

All she needed was for someone to come and save her.

To come and talk to her.

To get the pain off her chest.

She just wanted to see the light, the kindness of this world that people say exists.

But all she saw was 2 kids who were laughing and having fun, notice a broken woman (we didn't notice her but from her POV), ignoring her, and walking past her from mere inches away, and never returning to help her out.

That's why I feel so bad.

I could've gone back.

I could've talked to her.

I could've been the light, the kindness of this world in her eyes.

I could've been the sign that helps her realise that there are people who care.

I could've made her day just a bit better.

But I failed to do these things.

Instead, all I ended up doing was make her feel even more rejected, ignored, small, and hurt.

Why didn't I go back?

I don't know.

That's a question that I'm still trying to answer. 

But I'm not sure if there is a point in trying to.

All I know is that not going back was a mistake.

A mistake that I shall never repeat.

And the takeaway from this story is that if you ever see someone who needs help, any kind of help, just go and talk to them.

Go and ask them if they're okay, or if you can help them in any way. 

Even if you can't, and even if you feel awkward, or make a fool of yourself.

At least you and the ones you helped will know that the world isn't as mean, and selfish, as many say it is.

Love from Quason

PS: Feel free to Share your thoughts, opinions, and feedbacks by commenting or replying to this letter.

Feel free to restack this letter and share it to more people.

And if you aren't part of The Mission already,

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Braindump (out of context)

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• Wooooo this letter, this story, I don't know if it's good or bad. I don't know if it makes sense or not. All I know is that it's progress. It's progress to killing the inner perfectionist that I didn't know was living rent-free. And ignore grammer mistakes, English isn't my first language.

• I actually have another story to share from the same time but when me and my friend actually bought stuff from the market. It's just about a small family of a mother and a young man about my age who were living under an elevated walking area in front of a store and selling some stuff. I still have a lot of things to think about though before I write.

• Me and my friend will go back to that market, from that same path. I'll try to find and pray for that lady's well being, and I'll see if I can see that family again.

• The Brothers Krynn Blessed Warrior Reina , I DID IT!! I wrote my first substack post and overcame the perfectionist I didn't know existed. I would appreciate some feedback on my writing from you guys. Love ya.